Recently, I had a discussion with my older sister. Life comes at you fast, and sometimes, especially when things are going south, you need to confront some key issues and actions. You need to occasionally take a seat, rewind with some powerful introspection, and say,
“Well shoot, I have problems.”
And that’s exactly what we did. We sat down, took 3 hours to talk—like real brothers and sisters should do sometimes—and started hashing out the realities of not just her situation, but our lives. I need to give her credit; she usually is hesitant to point the finger at herself when it comes to blame. But that day, she was all in. She was locked in the moment we got serious, and straight up knew what needed to be done.
“You need to develop a sense of accountability.”
When you talk about accountability, you have to get real—real with the fact that it’s a strong indicator for your character, and that it’s a good thing to possess. Accountability is directly tied to trust; which is then directly tied to handling all sorts of responsibilities; which is then finally laced up with independence.
If you want to lead a strong lifestyle of handing not just your business, but being entrusted with others’ as well, then you need to curate a strong handle of accountability.
The best news of course, is that it’s entirely possible to do just that!
It Starts with You
It all starts with you. You, and absolutely no one else. The number one, absolutely huge mistake people make in searching for their own accountability, is that deflection is their best friend. It’s easy to do, and you and I still do it sometimes whether we like it or not. “If only he didn’t do this,” or, “Well if X were different, then,” become common sayings. The moment we stop trying to be a mirror, reflecting things back at whoever looks to us, is the moment we start moving.
It’s okay to admit that sometimes things are out of your control. Because sometimes they legitimately are. But often times, all it takes is for us to smile and be confident in our ability to handle the situation by saying, “It’s mine.”
Practice Makes Perfect
The more you say stuff like, “It was me,” and the more you admit and own up to being a part of something, the more comfortable you become doing it. It’s just like any exercise, when you think about it! At first, it’s rough and tumble—it’s super uncomfortable for you to take the weight of your actions because…well, it’s heavy and painful. But similarly to running every day, your muscles—in this case your heart figuratively—gets used to it. In fact, after conditioning yourself, it may even feel good to you! You’ll be able to stick your chest out a bit and say, “People know what I’m about,” because they see your ability to accept responsibility in everything.
And once that happens, it becomes second nature—a part of your daily routine. It digs itself deep into your morals, your life compass, and strengthens you.
Bonds Become Unbreakable
The real beauty of developing a strong sense of accountability for yourself is this: all of your bonds with your peers, friends, and family become unbreakable. Once you fully trust yourself and trust your ability to accept your own actions, people learn to trust you! You know that saying, “The harshest critic of me is myself?” That statement is true for most everyone, right? I know it is for me, and I’m sure it is for you at times, too.
Naturally, everyone understands that sentiment because we all, to varying degrees, follow it. So when your friends and loved ones see how strong you measure your own accountability—how mindful you are of yourself in trusting—they will be that much more trustworthy of you, too. And trust makes unbreakable bonds, friends.
Don’t be afraid to take small steps in building your own accountability. It takes work, and truthfully no one is going to be perfect at being 100% accountable in everything.
Still, it’s a process. A process that can let you trust yourself in any circumstance, and a process that will let others trust you.
Accountability of our actions creates real trust. That trust gives us all a chance to be vulnerable; and that’s a hard thing to do.
Written by: Michael “Bboy Roach1” Roach